I was never a popular child at school. I was bullied teased and harassed by a group of girls who felt every insecure and threatened by me as I was different in many ways to them.

They had new clothes one books new bags and were not very bright.

Me on the other hand my parents dressed me up in all my older sisters hand me downs I went to school with my sisters old hand me down books and I wasn’t overly smart, but I was smarter than the girls that teased me relentlessly day in and day out at school. My family was religious, and my home life was not the best.

Because of the bullying throughout the years, I became a people pleaser, and that was because I wanted to be liked, I wanted to be popular and so I let people push me around. I did things that people wanted me to do so that I could be in the in crowd and fit in. Still nothing I ever did seem dot please people particularly those girls.

As within a year of being bullied I became very withdrawn and shy and fearful of others to the point where I would not express myself, what I felt and what I wanted at school and at home when I needed support and attention I was being told to toughen up and to go away and deal with it on my own. So, at school I was quiet and withdrawn and at home I rebelled to get attention but I was still a good kid.

As I got older, I realized five very things that really helped me deal with the bullying and move forward with my life. These five things were:

1) 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑝 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑢𝑠ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒.

2) 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑜𝑝𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑟, 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑, 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓.

3) 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠𝑛’𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦. 𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑢𝑝𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑠, 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑤, 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑝 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑧𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑏𝑒.

4) 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑛𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜 𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓, 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑝𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑡ℎ𝑦 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠.

5) 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑒/𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑙. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑜. 𝐼𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑗𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦. 𝑆𝑜 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜.

I am really grateful to have learned these things and to be able to pass them on to you now.

𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏.

It is because of you and your example that your children are bullying other children. If you bully others in front of your children directly or indirectly some of what they see and hear will rub off on them and they will copy you as they are young and impressionable and they will think that that sort of behavior is normal and acceptable. Please take a good hard look at yourself and your behavior and change it so that your children don’t become bullies. Control your temper with others and be rational human beings that have rational conversations and support one and other instead of getting angry and blowing up at others and becoming verbally and physically violent with others.

If you know your child is bullying another child, then tell them to stop as the effects of being bullied when you are the one being bullied are tremendous and can scar a person for life if that person doesn’t deal with what has happened.©

Copyright © 2022 Lynette Diehm.

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