If they are a narcissist then they have a mental condition where they have an inflated sense of their own importance a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, a lack of empathy for others and turbulent relationships. But behind this mask of extreme arrogance is a fragile self-esteem that is susceptible to the slightest piece of disapproval.

The narcissistic personality disorder creates issues in multiple parts of life, such as work, business, relationships, financial affairs, and school. These types of people with the narcissistic personality disorder are usually upset and frustrated when they are not given what they want in the way of a special favor or admiration\gratitude they deem they deserve. The relationships they have are usually unfulfilling, and others after a while do not enjoy being in their presence or even speaking to them.

Here are the signs you are in a friendship or in a relationship with a Narcissist.

• They are preoccupied with fantasies of how brilliant, successful, powerful, and wonderful they are and that they are the perfect mate.
• They see faults in others but not in themselves and when they hurt someone else, they don’t see that they have done anything wrong, so they don’t apologies and accept that they have hurt the other person.
• They have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration and gratitude for things that they take credit for doing even though they may not have done it at all.
• They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and say things like I got you though this, I did that for you and you would never have been able to get through it on your own
• They want you to jump and obey them when they say so.
• They expect to be identified as exceptional and superior even without achievements that warrant it.
• They say everything is wrong with you but there is nothing wrong with them and that they have no issues to fix within themselves.
• They over inflate their achievements and abilities.
• They pick out the bad in others but they according to themselves are perfect, and others should be so lucky to be in their presence.
• They dominate conversations and belittle or look down on people they recognize as inferior or less smart than they are.
• They are jealous, envious, and resentful of others and believe others are jealous of them.
• They behave in an arrogant or condescending, snotty manner, coming across as vain, boastful, conceited, and pompous to others.
• They expect special favors and obedient compliance to their extremely high expectations of others.
• They take advantage of others to get what they want by making others feel bad about themselves and reliant on them.
• They have a lack of ability or reluctance to acknowledge the needs and feelings of other people.
• They always insist on having the best of everything no matter what the cost.
• They will not apologize for hurting you as it is inconceivable to them that they have done anything wrong.
• They judge you harshly and tell you their judgements of you.
• They believe they are upper class and upper market people and will try to only associate themselves with equally important people.
• They can spot another narcissist a mile away and will tell you.

At the same time, people with narcissistic tendencies have problems controlling and handling anything that they view as criticism or a threat to their perceived superiority like the below:

• They have difficulty controlling emotions and behavior
• They have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted and jaded.
• They are very impatient or angry when they do not receive special treatment.
• They have hidden feelings of insecurity, indignity, helplessness, and humiliation.
• They react with rage or disrespect and try to put down the other person to make themselves appear superior.
• They experience major problems dealing with stressful situations and having to adapt to change.
• They feel neglected, depressed, and temperamental because they fall short of perfection.

In my time on this planet, I have dated 3 narcissists and been best friends with 2 narcissists and they drain you and make you feel bad about yourself and reliant on them. They think your world (what you write, say, think and feel) revolves around them. They make you feel bad for them to feel good and to get what they want from you. They are master manipulators and when they don’t get their way accuse you of being a liar and a manipulator. They will do whatever it takes to get their own way even if it hurts other people in the process. Everything is wrong with you, and nothing is and will ever be wrong with them. They will never compromise or apologies for anything they do against you that is wrong. They accuse you of doing the things that they themselves are doing when they are feeling paranoid or insecure.

The only thing you can do if you are friends with or in a relationship with a narcissist is get the hell out of there and make sure they know that you want nothing to do with them because if you don’t they will try to convince you that they are good people and that it is all in your head so that you will come back to them and so that they narcissistic manipulations can continue.  Being around these types of people is hazardous for your mental and emotional well-being and they are constantly building you up only to shatter you into tiny little pieces to get what they way.  They love being in control the only way you can break that control is to get them completely out of your life as quickly as possible.  You are worth so much more in life than to be controlled by a master manipulator and narcissist. ©

Copyright © 2022 Lynette Diehm.

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