You can’t blame the other person for a failed friendship or relationship as it does take two to make and or break a friendship. Look for the lesson and how you can change\improve through personal reflection and development if you want to move on and not repeat the same patterns as you did in the past. Figure out if staying in that friendship is affecting you in some way either positively or negatively and don’t continue to fight with the other person involved as it will only do you more damage than good.
Be prepared to either walk away or take a break from communications within that person if you notice it is affecting your health either physically or mentally. Be the bigger person and do what it takes for you not to be drawn back into that cycle of anger and pain caused from fighting with the other person.
We need to take ownership for our past and how we got to where we are now. We are the only ones responsible for our thoughts, emotions\feelings, actions, reactions, and decisions that we make and do. The hardest part of taking responsibility for our lives is admitting that we have problems and issues and admitting that we are flawed in some way by taking ownership of our lives and where we are, owning up to and taking responsibility for our mistakes in life.
Because we are complex beings and are layered, we all have issues and problems in our lives, it is not a sin or anything to be ashamed of if you have made a mistake or taken a wrong turn and you own up to it.
The process of taking ownership for things can be scary but also quite empowering at the same time. Once you have taken ownership of your life and decisions you have made, then and only then can you work towards improving and positively fixing things.
Have you or a friend of yours ever been in a situation where you have repeated the same patterns over and over again and wondered why these patterns are repeating?
If so, was there a specific thing you did to break the repetitious cycle and move positively forward or in a different direction?
I have made many mistakes in my life from the people I hung out with who were bad influences to taking the wrong job with the wrong company where the culture was toxic to giving people too many chances to make up for hurting me and to change to trusting the wrong people.
For me to change I had to dig deep within myself and do some self-analysis to figure out why I was being and doing the things that only caused me heart ache and grief and figuring out what the positive lessons were in those situations so learning them so that I did not repeat those patterns again and sometimes I would fail at changing course and have to go through similar experiences again and relearn the lessons until I succeeded in implementing the correct strategy to move me forward.
It is not an easy thing to be digging deep after a bad or traumatic experience and figuring out what you could have done differently so that you don’t have the same experiences. It is really hard to do. In this process you have to remember that you are human and that humans make mistakes and not be too hard on yourself so that you can learn the positives from the experience an move forward.
I have learnt through experience that being too hard on yourself is sometimes the thing that makes you your worst enemy. When you are hard on yourself you will never see the positive learning from the experience as you are too busy beating yourself up negatively to see that there are positive learnings to be gained from the experience. I know that seeing the positive in a negative event in your life isn’t easy but it is well worth it. From learning the positives from experiences, I have managed to move forwards and let go of what would usually hold a person back far more quickly and efficiently than I could when I was in depression.
I now look back on how far in life I have come so very far, and I am so very proud of myself for learning all those lessons and implementing far more resourceful strategies that serve me to move me forward to get to my destination and achieve what I want to achieve. I could not have done this without personally developing and having a mindset of continual improvement.©
Copyright © 2022 Lynette Diehm.
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