The Struggle Against Universal Fears
I’ve walked a path many know too well – feeling out of place, craving authentic connections yet constantly facing exclusion and superficiality. My journey, marked by the universal fears of not being loved, feeling inadequate, and lacking belonging, reflects struggles familiar to many.
Let’s delve in deeper into the human psyche for a while now. The reason we all have thought and felt this way at some point is because of the 3 universal fears. These are the big overarching fears. These fears are:
- Not being loved
- Not being enough
- Not belonging
As a small child, we develop these fears through the experiences we have had. These fears hold us back from doing a lot of things in our lives. These fears have smaller fears grouped with in them. Some of the smaller fear groupings are below:
| Universal Fear | Not being loved | Not belonging | Not being enough |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sub fears | Not being lovable | Being alone | Not being perfect |
| Not being able to love others | Being lonely | Not being in control | |
| Not being accepted | Not liked | Of being judged | |
| Being out of place | Of public speaking | ||
| Being different | Of being ugly | ||
| Being odd | Of being weak | ||
| Being strange | Of being too emotional | ||
| Being weird | Of failure | ||
| Not fitting the stereo type | Of success | ||
| Of standing out | Not being educated | ||
| Not having enough experience |
The above are just a small portion of the sub fears we have. If I were to list all of them, it would take me at 6 months or more to do so. As you can see from the above that a lot of the sub fears can be used in one of all the overarching fear categories.
Some of these fears are in our heads either conscious or subconscious and some manifest as mental illnesses due to us thinking that our fears are who and what we are, and so we lose our identities through being so caught up in the limiting beliefs that we have made up based on these fears that in our lives.
My Silent Battles
From childhood through my early adult years, I was enveloped in a cloud of emotional and psychological abuse. This shaped my deepest fears, dimming the light of my true identity. The bullying, betrayals, and emotional wounds I suffered eroded my self-esteem and left me feeling unlovable.
Have you ever thought where humanity would be right now if we were taught at a very young age that:
- It is ok to be yourself
- It is ok to be flawed
- It is ok to make mistakes
- It is ok to fall and get back up again
- It is ok to be an individual
- It is ok to not like the same things as everyone else does
- It is ok to show and have emotions
- It is ok not to fit in with the stereotyping of society
- It is ok to have time out and to take care of ourselves
- It is ok to push past our fears
- It is ok to be what you want to be in life
- It is ok to be single in your and not want marriage and a family
- It is ok to love and respect yourself and to have boundaries
- It is ok not to belong to any groups
- It is ok to live the file you want to live and to do the things you want to do
- It is ok to voice your opinion
- It is ok if you are or are not smart
- It is ok to not be good looking and or beautiful
- It is ok to say NO to people and be respected for it
- It is ok to be or not to be ambitious
- It is ok not to be rich
- That you can do and be whatever you want to do and be in life
- It is ok to believe in yourself
- You will be loved, belong and enough, no matter what
- Everyone is worthy of love and belonging
- If you have experienced trauma in your life that it is ok to talk about it no matter what sex you are
- Everyone is equal
- Relationships are a partnership
- Life is an adventure
- Life is to be nurtured and cherished
- You are special
- You are amazing
- To get what you want, you must take action
- You have what it takes
Children should be encouraged to think positively and to want to be their own person who has boundaries and respects themselves and to be loved for it. Not judged, scolded at and ridiculed for it. Let hem be creative but teach them to have honest and to have a true relationship with themselves. Let them grow from their mistakes and bounce back resiliently from them with a greater sense of self-worth and self-love. Empower your children to be the best versions of themselves that they can be!
The People Pleaser in Me
In my longing for acceptance, I transformed into a people pleaser. I put others’ needs before my own, hoping this would bring me love and belonging. However, this path led me away from my true self, leaving me empty and unfulfilled.
My Turning Point: From Darkness to Light
There came a moment when I realized I couldn’t live under the shadow of these fears any longer. I had to break free. My journey to rediscover myself involved facing the raw emotions I had long suppressed and challenging the limiting beliefs that had defined me.
Building My Holistic Support System
I crafted a holistic support system through a process of self-discovery and experimentation. This became my sanctuary, a blend of self-care and lifestyle changes that empowered me to reclaim my life. It was a transformative process of healing, growth, and self-empowerment.
Today: Embracing My Authenticity
Today, I stand strong, knowing who I am. I am no longer defined by my past but rather by the strength I found in overcoming it. My story is one of hope, showing that it’s possible to face your deepest fears, find your true self, and emerge stronger and more authentic.
Join Me on Your Journey of Transformation
At ‘Dare To Be You’, we believe in the transformative power of embracing your true self. My story is an invitation to you to begin your own journey of self-discovery. We are here to support you as you face your fears, find your voice, and step into a life of authenticity.©
Copyright © 2022 Lynette Diehm.
All rights reserved. No part of this post may be used or reproduced by any means, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
#daretobeyou, #daretobeyouinlife, #daretobeyourself, #selflove, #loveyourself, #empowerment, #love, #confidence, #daretobebold, #daretotouch, #empowerment, #selfawareness, #selfesteem, #selfconfidence, #selfrespect, #selfcare, #care, #daretobeyoucoaching, #mindsetcoaching, #transformationalcoaching, #coachingdaretobeyou, #daretoletsoemoneelsetakethewheel, #daretofaceyourfearsheadon, #daretobetrasnformed, #personaldevelopmentcoaching, #personalcoaching, #daretobehappy, #daretobesuccessful, #daretosucceed, #mentalhealth, #personalgrowth, #selfworth, #gratitude, #Yourself, #Outstanding, #Unstoppable, # Dare To Be You
