Do you often feel like you are the rock for others and because of that, you feel you can’t:

• Break down and cry
• Fall apart
• Yell and scream
• Lash out in anger.
• Be in touch with your emotions
• Let your emotions out
• Show your human side
• Show people how you really are
• Show people you need them
• Show people your wild side
• Be a mess around others at time
• Take time out for yourself

What would happen if you did all the above things?

Category 1) Would people:

• Not like you anymore
• Not speak to you any more
• Shake their heads in disgust
• Judge you
• Tell you to get your act together
• Make it all about them
• Freak out about it
• See a side of you that they dislike
• Take advantage of you and the situation
• Tell you that you cannot be that way
• Tell you that your sole purpose is to be their rock and fall apart if you are not anymore
• Pity you

Category 2) Or perhaps they would:

• Like the fact that you are human like them
• Comfort you
• Step up and be the rock for you when you need them
• Cheer you up
• Show you some compassion
• Show you they love all of including the bad and the ugly
• Work through the things that are getting you down with you
• Not judge you
• Help you when you need help
• Give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be ok
• Encourage and challenge you and tell you that you can do this
• Show you how much they care for you
• Make you laugh
• Pick you up when you are feeling down
• Support you
• Validate you
• Acknowledge your feelings
• Listen to you and really hear you
• Really see you for you

If your friends and family are in category 1 then they are very selfish people and do not love you unconditionally and you can do without them in your life.

If your friends and family fall into category 2, then they truly do love you unconditionally and you have indeed very lucky to have them in your life.

What I have learned over the years is that those that are in category 1 won’t be there for you when you really need them and they will always judge and criticise you and make it all about them. You can do without them in your life. These people will only ever think of themselves and make everything about themselves and make you feel bad for being human and having emotions. They will only ever love themselves and what they can get from you. They have the what is in it for me mentality, which is selfish and careless, and they will say things that will always hurt you. They are very manipulative people.

It is always best to have friends and family that are in category 2 as they will always be there for you no matter what and they will love, support and challenge you and help you to become stronger. They will pick you up when you are feeling down. They really do not mind if you fall apart, as they know you are only human. They would rather you let your emotions out and feel them than to bottle them up inside and become resentful, angry, and depressed. The relationship you have with these people is a 2-way friendship and is to be nurtured and nourished and treated like gold. ©

Copyright © 2022 Lynette Diehm.

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